The Ask Fast

I found this in my Lost Ark-esque archives of the unedited and unfinished…It’s from 2012? Geez. What else is in this here vat? Looking around to see. In the meantime, I’m grateful for words and that you’re reading mine.

My buddy Loris, a minister, is taking a new approach to praying.

It’s interesting being pals with a pastor. I catch myself thinking before dropping the f bomb. Not that I don’t drop it, I just think beforehand and let it rip. Or before ordering the shot of brown liquor.

Back in, oh, June or so, Loris started an “ask fast.” She stopped praying for what she wanted and needed, and decided to be thankful for what is.

Sometimes I question prayer. If the all-mighty knows my needs, why do I have to ask for them? If I am an imperfect, un-allknowing beast of a person, what makes me think I have the gall to tell the all-mighty “hey, do this.”

That’s audacity. I’m fairly audacious. But I’ll give it a whirl.

At the end of thirty days, you look at requests and gratitude in a different way.

So, ahead of my fast, I’m writing my short list of what makes me say “thanks.”

I am thankful for my new job. A year ago, I was working three jobs for a lot less pay. Three years ago, I was working one job for about the same money (before they started furloughs and pay reductions), more stress, and less flexibility. At my new place, the people have a mission to care for those around them, and that includes employees. I feel ridiculously humbled in the genuine concern everyone shows.

I am thankful for Miss Donna’s orange cake. The only thing she did wrong was cut the slices too small.

I am thankful that my debit card worked tonight at the Teeter.

I am thankful for my favorite Vietnam vet’s stories about being in the trenches, and thankful he is here to do the telling.

I am thankful that Grandma calls me and still sounds confrontational at 91.*

I am thankful for R-CHOP, the cruel scarlet-colored chemical mix that turned my husband’s face ruddy, stripped his cells, and saved his life.

I am thankful for two loud-mouthed, talk-back surprises, named Alex and Mackenzie.

I am thankful for words. They have saved my life.

D.

 

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